WHERE YOU WORK IS NOT THE ISSUE…

Proximity bias is the real issue.

For those of you who are not familiar with the concept, proximity bias is the "unconscious tendency to favor, trust, or perceive higher value in employees who are physically closer to managers (e.g., in the office) over remote workers."

So when Emma Grede pissed off a lot of people last week when she said that work from home is career suicide for women, I did not disagree with her.

Don't eat me up though… follow along…

When Emma said remote work is hurting women's careers, what she is really saying is: the system relies heavily on proximity to function.

The real issue is that we shouldn't have a system that we know has never worked equitably to begin with. A system that has always relied on proximity to power while never equitably granting access to that proximity in the first place is problematic, especially for women of color.

A system where women of color have historically been excluded from informal networks, overlooked in rooms they were technically present in, and denied sponsorship even when their performance spoke for itself never worked.

So if you remove proximity in a system that already depends on proximity, you expose who the system was built to support… and then the invisible infrastructure of opportunity becomes clear.

So the issue isn't whether remote work is good or bad. The issue is whether we are willing to redesign how opportunity flows because right now:

Visibility = proximity
Opportunity = relationships
Advancement = sponsorship

And in an AI-driven world, this becomes a defining question. As tasks become automated, trust and relationships get increasingly more important. Technical skills are being democratized and productivity is easier to measure so human relationships are becoming even more valuable, not less.

All of last week I was in San Diego and Los Angeles building relationships with some of my organization's supporters and funders. I would have loved to enjoy those couple of days in my regular routine, doing my hot girl walks, and drink my matcha in the morning next to the window in my living room.

… but unfortunately the system was not designed for me to be able to do the work I'm doing, and not have proximity to the relationships who enable the work to happen.

There was even a moment last year where someone said that the reason they work with our organization is because we're always in the room.

So relationships do matter. Being able to meet people in person matters. Building trust in person matters. Getting to know people beyond the world of technology matters.

So until it doesn't matter, Emma Grede was not wrong.

We're not saying that this is RIGHT… what we're saying is that this is the game and until the game changes, you have to choose how you want to play.